Dear Frans

I am so delighted with the direction your life is taking you.  All of your decisions and all your actions are so noble and intelligent.  I often think about 
how you were the same way when you were a little boy.  I hope that you will always let your Creator be in control of your life.  That is the only way to true happiness.  And I want you to know that sometimes you will make mistakes — and when those times occur, the proudest mother in the world — one who loves you forever, is always here …to encourage you … to understand you … to talk with you and to support you!  You are precious to me Boeta!
 

Membrane by Frans
Like an empty seal it lies there, no intestines, no life.    Merely a bag of nothingness in the shape of a human being with no significance at all.    I walk over to it and bend down to pick up my skin and as always I don't fail to be surprised by its impersonal deadness when I brush a hand over it.Clinical.    My eyes glide along the dominantly black surface, exploring every detail; the two arms stretched out as if crucified, the dark legs growing from the strong lycra body, one twisted backwards in an unnatural way, its sleekness interrupted by the disturbing zigzag pattern stitching all along the seams.    I close my eyes and visualize myself filling every empty space with my limbs, one by one.     Slowly..... I watch as the two layers of neoprene insulation is separated by a leg and my impatience grows as I wait for a foot to appear through the opening at the bottom.    Then finally it breaks through with a thud as the rubber cuff slams shut around an ankle to retard the loss of warmed water.    Two legs; one displaying every subtle curve and the other lifeless, hanging silently beside it. Glabrous contours form on my thigh and with a firm hand I condemn them to evenness.    The body of my skin hangs lifeless behind me.    I grab it by the neck and a shiver trickles down my spine when I quickly slip my hand down the gray and black sleeve with "Beuchat" tattooed in white.    I pause a second before I send my left arm down the tunnel to where it should be.    In a swift movement I flick the skin over my back and close my eyes as I get used to its intimate embrace.    Panic!    A claustrophobic sell rises up from my feet and threatens to break over my head. With difficulty I manage to take a shallow breath just before it devours me.    I struggle.   My hands waving in the air as I try in vain to rip the skin off my body.    Then, as from nowhere, a wave of inquility gently breaks over me.    It flows down to my heart which gradually starts beating slower until it nearly comes to a mellow stop.    I marshal the courage to draw the zipper along its track, stretching from my guts to my gullet. I watch my skin now as it is filled with me.    It fits me like a glove; touching my body in every square inch.    I think of our symbiotic existence. It's thousands of bubbles in the 5mm of insulation returning heat to my body as my bodyheat encounters each bubble in turn.    I, molding it onto my body, for a few moments defying its paralysis.    Every inch of it has come to life.    It moves, it touches, no longer empty but filled with me.    But still, I'm unable to imitate my fifth sense.    It lacks feeling.    "My passport to another dimension" I like to call it.    When I feel it's warm embrace around me I know its safe to trespass into my dreamworld.    I feel the wetness slowly ciphering through every pore filling up every single one of the thousands of air spaces until I'm surrounded in a thin layer of hot, humid liquid.    Mask on my eyes and air in my lungs I steadily descend until my hair floats like kelp above me.    A mystical realm is unveiled as I sink deeper into the blue darkness.    Fairy tale creatures moves around me, careful and aware of the intruder.    My movement slows down and I become one of them, rhythmically making my way through their world, languidly; euphoric.    My black skin echoes every movement of my body.    We move together : synchronized, as playful bubbles dance pass my head to the surface.